My mind is too busy! I cannot meditate

My mind is too busy! I cannot meditate!

Exactly, this is the number one excuse people use when telling me why they do not meditate. It’s as if you tell me, “I can’t take piano lessons, I don’t know how to play.”

It’s true in the beginning when we start or would like to start a meditation practice, our mind is running and thoughts will not stop cropping up. You sit down, you start fidgeting, you feel the urge to scratch your nose, then you feel a hair in your eye, then you think of what to cook for dinner, you start beating yourself up that you cannot sit still, that your thoughts are running like crazy, you are about to stop but you tell yourself: “Oh come on, don’t give up, I can do this even for just one more minute, oh man stop talking, breathe, one inhale, one exhale”. Then you have the feeling your foot hurts so much that it needs to be amputated and so you’d better stop, “Ohh this is so uncomfortable, this is just wasting time” bla bla bla…the monkey mind found the excuse again to give up and get up. You find yourself with the phone in your hand faster than you think and you are back checking social media. Am I right?

What has just happened here? You were so determined to start a meditation practice because you’ve heard:

  • Meditation relaxes you
  • Meditation improves your sleep
  • Meditation improves your digestion
  • Meditation decreases anxiety
  • Meditation brings clarity and focus
  • Meditation brings you into the present moment 
  • and so on

and again it didn’t work. So you put this whole meditation story far far back and won’t even try for another few months. 

 The “belief” that we cannot meditate because we cannot stop thinking was just reinforced again.

Too often in life, I think we just put too much pressure on ourselves and we are very hard on us. Because we feel like a failure after the situation that I just described we won’t go back to this meditation cushion for another year at least . Maybe then we might give it another shot.

But in reality, there is not much to do, just sitting and breathing. And if we would start just acknowledging our thoughts, letting go of the expectation that we should not think in meditation, we probably would sit down more often.

Letting go of the myth that the mind has to stop, could be a start to giving it a try again and probably even liking it. If we just could be more kind to ourselves, more open-minded to what is happening, being willing to observe what is going on, having compassion for ourselves, wouldn’t it be so much easier? 

And this can even be taken out into the real world while being in a discussion with your partner, colleague or friend, why not just

  • breathe, 
  • observe your thoughts and emotions, 
  • let go of the outcome of the discussion (who is right/I am right/I have to prove something), 

would it not be much easier? 

But no, we are always in a rut wanting something, needing to prove something, going for a certain outcome and result. And oh yes, controlling the situation would be nice too, huh? 

Just surrendering seems to be so hard.

 

Just surrendering seems to be so hard?

We really want to control the situation and we want to be busy because busy is good (in our mind, in our society), busy gives us value, busy gives us the feeling of being important, of not being a loser. 

And if we meditate and we cannot stop our mind, we are losers, so we better use the excuse: “I cannot stop my mind, I do not meditate”, and so we feel safe, as we are not bringing ourselves into the situation of failure.

So now, give it a try, sit down, close your eyes if that is comfortable for you, observe your breath, observe your thoughts, observe your energy. And whatever you observe is exactly perfect at that moment. Everything that you feel, sense, hear, see, recognise you will acknowledge and it is perfect as it is at that moment. 

You are perfect. You are safe. Be in the flow and surrender. Not needing to control is the relaxation response. Enjoy.

Please download a free guided meditation here that might help you to get grounded. In case you struggle, do not hesitate to contact me.

Feel free to join my fb group where you can find more meditations and tips to get what you deserve.

Photo credit: Photo by Brittany Colette on Unsplash

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